A colourful protest against tone policing of disabled folk. This is a pre-order listing as the original batch sold out - I will create another lot on Monday 29th May for postage later that week. I plan to dye to order so please buy if you’d like some as there won’t be spares. Thank you.
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Autistic people who mask often do so with the comfort of neurotypical people foremost in our minds. We want to please. If we can make ourselves small and pleasant to be around then we won’t be disliked or attacked. We are motivated by the need to survive to conform to neuronormative expectations, whatever the cost to our own mental health and wellbeing.
Sometimes, however, despite our best efforts we mess up. Never intentionally, only because we don’t truly understand the dominant culture. This is one thing that disables us, because the consequences can be really terrible. We are disliked (particularly detrimental for women), tone policed, silenced, and sometimes physically attacked. We lose our friends, jobs, incomes and are further marginalised.
The difficult thing is that when we apologise, saying we’re autistic and did our best but got it wrong, people are faced with a dilemma. Should they accept this explanation and our apology for being disabled(!), perhaps even apologising in return for the misunderstanding? That would allow a reset in the relationship and alter ongoing expectations in a positive and fruitful way.
Or should they double down and attack further? After all, nobody likes realising they unintentionally harmed a disabled person, it causes cognitive dissonance. For those who choose to resolve it by resorting to hate, a frequent response is “autism is not an excuse to be rude”. Of course, the rest of us know it isn’t about deliberate rudeness, nobody is excusing that, it’s about forgiving a “faux pas” caused by neurodivergence.
Autism is in fact a literal cause of communication differences. Autism is also a reason for neurotypical people to show a little grace. Most do, given the chance, which is wonderful. I think people who wield “autism is not an excuse to be rude” as a weapon would feel sooooo ashamed of their intolerance if they truly understood neurodiversity and how hard autistics try to please them.
A superwash treated sock yarn. Spun from 75% merino wool that’s soft and warm with 25% nylon for enhanced durability. Around 420 metres per 100g skein. Suitable for 2-3mm needles or hook.
This yarn is presented as a skein. If you would like it caked then this adds 24h to the dispatch time and you can purchase this service here:
www.mothyandthesquid.com/products/yarn-caking-service